Sometimes I find that I just need to take a step back and think about things. It's easy to get lost in the details of everyday life. Even with our best intentions, we can quickly get drawn into the daily drama that causes us, over time, to lose sight of our dreams and big-picture goals. I call this process "getting lost in the weeds".
I keep writing about how I have been stepping back the last few months to get perspective. I write about this process not because I think I need to repeat myself, but because I keep hoping that those of you reading are taking time to do the same thing for yourselves.
I moved my clinical Ayurveda practice from Virginia to Baltimore just three years ago. When I began working up here, I was immediately overwhelmed by the rapid pace at which my business increased. At first, I went through periods of time in which I stopped taking new patients. After a few cycles of these self-imposed caps on business, I overheard some colleagues talking about how frustrated they were when trying to see another highly recommended health practitioner that was not taking new patients. I decided right then that I did not want to be the cause of similar frustrations. I had to let go and just see where this work took me.
I began working crazy hours, taking appointments any time from 8 am until sometimes 9 pm, with no regularity to my schedule. I knew people were benefitting from reading my blog, so I worked on my posts in the few minutes between patients throughout the day. Just about every "free" moment was spent checking emails and responding to text messages, or promoting my workshops and classes by sending personal invitations to people I thought might benefit from attending. My commitment to providing a high level of personal care also requires me to spend lots of hours outside the office on my work. Consequently, as my practice got busier, I got drawn into a schedule of getting home late and staying up until 2 am each morning so I could answer emails, create personal cleansing plans, send people recipes, and whatever else needed to be done. As you can imagine, I became exhausted. You're probably thinking something like, "Staying up until 2 am? That's not very Ayurvedic!"
Well, if that's what you're thinking, you're right. And a moment came last Autumn when I realized that I had gotten drawn into that pattern so gradually that I didn't even notice it was happening. I had kept my focus on my commitment to providing a high level of care to others and in the process I overlooked some of my own needs. Many of you reading this will remember me sitting with you in my office telling you something like, "Don't forget to take care of yourself," and I said that knowing how easy it is to fall into the trap of putting others first to the detriment of self-nurturing.
We learn as we grow the value of putting others first. We think that doing for others is a virtue because it means we are being selfless. What I have realized is that, if we want to be capable of giving others our best, we have to put ourselves first at the most basic level. We have to make sure we eat healthy foods to nourish our bodies, so we have to make time to prepare those foods. We have to get adequate sleep so we can be present for those who need us. We have to stay hydrated to sustain our basic biological functions. We have to make time for leisure activities that nourish our spirit because if we don't, we won't have anything to draw from when someone needs to lean on us. We have to get exercise so that we can be fit for our purpose in the world. Lastly, we cannot forget to play, because minds that are too serious and analytical become rigid and lost in the weeds (I make this observation as someone who loves analytical thinking just a little too much).
As Spring bursts open the flower buds here in Baltimore, I am feeling an awakening of new joy inside myself. I see new directions for my Ayurvedic practice, new partnerships I am forming with other health professionals, a better balance of career and family, and a renewed passion for my healing work...all happening because I have been taking time to step back, breathe, and look at the big picture.
I would advise all of you to do the same. Carve out space for yourself, even if all you can get is one hour a week or fifteen minutes every day. Ask yourself questions like:
"What are my core values?"
"Does the life I am living reflect my core values, and if not, what needs to change?"
"What's working for me?"
"What isn't working for me?"
"Am I making time for self care?"
"How can I begin to make time for myself?"
"Am I neglecting my own needs in favor of satisfying the needs of others?"
"What would my ideal life look like?"
"What changes can I make to bring myself toward my ideal life?"
Pulling yourself out of the weeds of daily life will allow you to gain fresh perspective and direction. Seeing the big picture on a regular basis makes it harder for the little details loom large and take over, causing stress, grief, anger and frustration.
Of course, I am not perfect. I still get lost in the weeds and find myself getting upset about small things. Still, I acknowledge and appreciate my growth and the resulting changes I have made, holding nothing back from consideration. Taking my big-picture perspective has required me to fearlessly commit to making any changes necessary so I can re-align my life and my career with my core values. With each new realization and consequent adjustment, I bring myself closer to my goals of being truly present in each moment, giving my best self to others in my healing work, and giving my best self to my family at home. The moments of frustration and feeling there are "not enough hours in the day" become fewer as I continue my path of practice.
I wish the same for all of you.
I keep writing about how I have been stepping back the last few months to get perspective. I write about this process not because I think I need to repeat myself, but because I keep hoping that those of you reading are taking time to do the same thing for yourselves.
I moved my clinical Ayurveda practice from Virginia to Baltimore just three years ago. When I began working up here, I was immediately overwhelmed by the rapid pace at which my business increased. At first, I went through periods of time in which I stopped taking new patients. After a few cycles of these self-imposed caps on business, I overheard some colleagues talking about how frustrated they were when trying to see another highly recommended health practitioner that was not taking new patients. I decided right then that I did not want to be the cause of similar frustrations. I had to let go and just see where this work took me.
I began working crazy hours, taking appointments any time from 8 am until sometimes 9 pm, with no regularity to my schedule. I knew people were benefitting from reading my blog, so I worked on my posts in the few minutes between patients throughout the day. Just about every "free" moment was spent checking emails and responding to text messages, or promoting my workshops and classes by sending personal invitations to people I thought might benefit from attending. My commitment to providing a high level of personal care also requires me to spend lots of hours outside the office on my work. Consequently, as my practice got busier, I got drawn into a schedule of getting home late and staying up until 2 am each morning so I could answer emails, create personal cleansing plans, send people recipes, and whatever else needed to be done. As you can imagine, I became exhausted. You're probably thinking something like, "Staying up until 2 am? That's not very Ayurvedic!"
Well, if that's what you're thinking, you're right. And a moment came last Autumn when I realized that I had gotten drawn into that pattern so gradually that I didn't even notice it was happening. I had kept my focus on my commitment to providing a high level of care to others and in the process I overlooked some of my own needs. Many of you reading this will remember me sitting with you in my office telling you something like, "Don't forget to take care of yourself," and I said that knowing how easy it is to fall into the trap of putting others first to the detriment of self-nurturing.
We learn as we grow the value of putting others first. We think that doing for others is a virtue because it means we are being selfless. What I have realized is that, if we want to be capable of giving others our best, we have to put ourselves first at the most basic level. We have to make sure we eat healthy foods to nourish our bodies, so we have to make time to prepare those foods. We have to get adequate sleep so we can be present for those who need us. We have to stay hydrated to sustain our basic biological functions. We have to make time for leisure activities that nourish our spirit because if we don't, we won't have anything to draw from when someone needs to lean on us. We have to get exercise so that we can be fit for our purpose in the world. Lastly, we cannot forget to play, because minds that are too serious and analytical become rigid and lost in the weeds (I make this observation as someone who loves analytical thinking just a little too much).
As Spring bursts open the flower buds here in Baltimore, I am feeling an awakening of new joy inside myself. I see new directions for my Ayurvedic practice, new partnerships I am forming with other health professionals, a better balance of career and family, and a renewed passion for my healing work...all happening because I have been taking time to step back, breathe, and look at the big picture.
I would advise all of you to do the same. Carve out space for yourself, even if all you can get is one hour a week or fifteen minutes every day. Ask yourself questions like:
"What are my core values?"
"Does the life I am living reflect my core values, and if not, what needs to change?"
"What's working for me?"
"What isn't working for me?"
"Am I making time for self care?"
"How can I begin to make time for myself?"
"Am I neglecting my own needs in favor of satisfying the needs of others?"
"What would my ideal life look like?"
"What changes can I make to bring myself toward my ideal life?"
Pulling yourself out of the weeds of daily life will allow you to gain fresh perspective and direction. Seeing the big picture on a regular basis makes it harder for the little details loom large and take over, causing stress, grief, anger and frustration.
Of course, I am not perfect. I still get lost in the weeds and find myself getting upset about small things. Still, I acknowledge and appreciate my growth and the resulting changes I have made, holding nothing back from consideration. Taking my big-picture perspective has required me to fearlessly commit to making any changes necessary so I can re-align my life and my career with my core values. With each new realization and consequent adjustment, I bring myself closer to my goals of being truly present in each moment, giving my best self to others in my healing work, and giving my best self to my family at home. The moments of frustration and feeling there are "not enough hours in the day" become fewer as I continue my path of practice.
I wish the same for all of you.