I would like to share something from my own healing journey today. Before I found Ayurveda, I had a 5-year battle with recurrent acute pancreatitis. This condition often occurs in people who drink a lot of alcohol, but as that was not the case for me, my doctors could not figure out what was wrong. I couldn't eat anything without experiencing severe abdominal pain. I was too thin because I didn't eat much and my body wasn't absorbing all the nutrients from the little food that I ate. When I began eating an Ayurvedic diet for my body type, I felt a little better each day. Sometimes, during my healing process, I would feel bloated and have tiny pains that reminded me of the ones I had during my pancreatic attacks. I would begin to worry obsessively that my pancreatitis was coming back, I would question the wisdom of my Ayurvedic plan, I would go on the internet and research all the many things that could be seriously wrong with me. For awhile I was convinced that if I just did enough research, I could make absolutely sure that I was on the correct path to health. After going through this cycle a few times, I realized that the more I worried, the worse my pain felt.
Of course, being me, I did research on stress-related illness. I came away from that research convinced that the high level of stress that I had been under for 5 years was much worse than anything that my digestive issues were likely to be causing. I firmly decided to stop giving into my stress. When my little pains would remind me of my illness, I would push the obsessive thoughts away, reminding myself that anxiety over feeling bad would only make me feel worse. Instead, I chose to focus on what I was doing to get well. When I had relapses, I would mentally list all the things I was doing to feel better. Often I would say out loud, "I am getting well. I trust my path. I am giving myself permission to get well."
Sometimes when we are sick for a long time, we identify ourselves with our illness and that identification prevents our healing. I did not want that to be the case with me. Just in case I was holding onto my illness because it was making me supermodel thin, I actually said out loud daily (several times), "I am giving myself permission to get fat if that means I will be healthy."
I looked inside myself for any emotional attachments that might keep me from getting well. When I finally gained a few pounds and didn't lose them after several months, I bought new pants and gave away my smaller ones because I didn't want any part of me wishing I could fit into those pants once again. I didn't want to invite this illness back into my life.
Keeping my stress level low while healing was a daily battle, but it was well worth it. Nothing is made better by nurturing stress over it. When I was healing, I chose to wage war against my anxious tendencies. I hope by writing this I can help others do the same.
Thanks for listening.
Of course, being me, I did research on stress-related illness. I came away from that research convinced that the high level of stress that I had been under for 5 years was much worse than anything that my digestive issues were likely to be causing. I firmly decided to stop giving into my stress. When my little pains would remind me of my illness, I would push the obsessive thoughts away, reminding myself that anxiety over feeling bad would only make me feel worse. Instead, I chose to focus on what I was doing to get well. When I had relapses, I would mentally list all the things I was doing to feel better. Often I would say out loud, "I am getting well. I trust my path. I am giving myself permission to get well."
Sometimes when we are sick for a long time, we identify ourselves with our illness and that identification prevents our healing. I did not want that to be the case with me. Just in case I was holding onto my illness because it was making me supermodel thin, I actually said out loud daily (several times), "I am giving myself permission to get fat if that means I will be healthy."
I looked inside myself for any emotional attachments that might keep me from getting well. When I finally gained a few pounds and didn't lose them after several months, I bought new pants and gave away my smaller ones because I didn't want any part of me wishing I could fit into those pants once again. I didn't want to invite this illness back into my life.
Keeping my stress level low while healing was a daily battle, but it was well worth it. Nothing is made better by nurturing stress over it. When I was healing, I chose to wage war against my anxious tendencies. I hope by writing this I can help others do the same.
Thanks for listening.