"In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others."
-Brennan Manning
In order to help others, we don't need to be "perfect" or "have it all together". I have seen so many people get caught up in seeking instead of being. The process goes something like this:
"I just finished this certification program for ___, but I don't feel like I'm ready to practice it. I have been looking at the ___ program at ___ (school). I really think if I go there I can learn what I need to know to really put this into action."
Or:
"I'm just so busy! My life is crazy. I don't even have my own stuff in order. I can't help anyone else. Maybe once I get through ___, I will be ready."
The temptation to seek validation keeps us from living our purpose. Validation is sought in the form of education, professional ahievement, and peer recognition. The most insidious form of validation-seeking comes when we deny ourselves the very same approval that we seek from others. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, often without even knowing what we think "good enough" is. We deny ourselves love, making change after change as we chase after something we have not even defined. We hide the parts of us that we think others will judge us for. We wait to take action to pursue our goals. We wait out of fear, but we disguise the fear in reasons that seem logical: "I just don't have enough education yet", or "My family says I should do ___ first."
Instead of getting caught up in chasing the mythical One Experience that will make us feel like we are finally "good enough", we can choose to be who we are right now. Just that, nothing more. We can acknowledge that who we are in this moment is enough. Enough to love ourselves, enough to bring joy to others, enough to help those who need our gifts. Being content with who we are does not prevent us from becoming more. Rather, contentment enables us to fully recognize our opportunities when they present themselves, and to jump into them free of fear and self-judgment.
When we stop seeking validation from outside ourselves and start living in compassion, we open up our lives. We make space to allow our unique talents to come forward, and even the parts of us that we thought of as "broken" or "ugly" can become useful in helping others to heal.
-Brennan Manning
In order to help others, we don't need to be "perfect" or "have it all together". I have seen so many people get caught up in seeking instead of being. The process goes something like this:
"I just finished this certification program for ___, but I don't feel like I'm ready to practice it. I have been looking at the ___ program at ___ (school). I really think if I go there I can learn what I need to know to really put this into action."
Or:
"I'm just so busy! My life is crazy. I don't even have my own stuff in order. I can't help anyone else. Maybe once I get through ___, I will be ready."
The temptation to seek validation keeps us from living our purpose. Validation is sought in the form of education, professional ahievement, and peer recognition. The most insidious form of validation-seeking comes when we deny ourselves the very same approval that we seek from others. We tell ourselves that we aren't good enough, often without even knowing what we think "good enough" is. We deny ourselves love, making change after change as we chase after something we have not even defined. We hide the parts of us that we think others will judge us for. We wait to take action to pursue our goals. We wait out of fear, but we disguise the fear in reasons that seem logical: "I just don't have enough education yet", or "My family says I should do ___ first."
Instead of getting caught up in chasing the mythical One Experience that will make us feel like we are finally "good enough", we can choose to be who we are right now. Just that, nothing more. We can acknowledge that who we are in this moment is enough. Enough to love ourselves, enough to bring joy to others, enough to help those who need our gifts. Being content with who we are does not prevent us from becoming more. Rather, contentment enables us to fully recognize our opportunities when they present themselves, and to jump into them free of fear and self-judgment.
When we stop seeking validation from outside ourselves and start living in compassion, we open up our lives. We make space to allow our unique talents to come forward, and even the parts of us that we thought of as "broken" or "ugly" can become useful in helping others to heal.